It's a big word with a small meaning. In the south, it simply means to think back. After the death of my dear friend Daq last week, I've had plenty of time to think back; to think about my regrets and how I wish I could redo my February-April 2011 with every ounce of EVERYTHING within me! I wish I was returning to SEBC this week for my last semester (or two)...but I'm not. Why some things have happened in my life, I'll never know but...for some reason...God has been teaching me things lately that I apparently had yet to learn.
I've taken advantage of so many amazing opportunities in my life and let so many people down...and hurt people...and thinking about it today, it broke my heart. I allowed my circumstances to control my emotions which controlled my life and the last six months have just plain sucked because of it.
To all those I hurt, or let down; I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt you or to ever let you down! I know how it feels, and it's crummy! More than likely, I love you very much and definitely would never do anything to hurt anyone...but I know that sometimes things are done unintentionally and on my part...it was definitely unintentional!
Prayers are appreciated and I ask that you please pray for Daq's family and friends! Continue to pray for SEBC as well; to lose a professor one year and a student the next, it's a tough thing! My friends there mean the world to me and I just ask that you lift them up in your prayers!
Much love and many blessings,
Amber <3
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Saying goodbye...
...to someone dear to your heart is one of the hardest things to do.
I found out yesterday that my dear friend Daq from Southeastern Bible College passed away. He was 26-years-old and suffered a heart-attack. I just talked to him on the phone about a photo shoot last week...my heart is still breaking.
This time last year, we were grieving the loss of our dear professor, Dr. Gary Greene who passed from a heart-attack in his office there at SEBC. I remember like it was yesterday...losing people dear to you, makes you realize who you truly love and what your priorities are.
I love SEBC and it'll always be a very special place to me and to suffer this loss, is very painful. Please pray for SEBC and the Weatherspoon family!
So, back to priorities...what are yours? Is it running around trying to please people or is accomplishing God's Will for you on this earth?!?!? Daq's last statement on his bio on Twitter read - "I just want to be used Lord...Let me be your vessel." How many of us really have that desire? I know one thing, that is my heart...all I want is to be His vessel and do whatever it is He's called me to!
My priority in life right now, is to make sure the people I love - KNOW IT! To graduate - FINALLY! And, to do what God has called me to and, for the time being, I am called to The Well Worship Encounter in Gadsden, Alabama and until He says otherwise (no matter if it's 6 months, 5 years or 20 years), I'll be there! No matter what! And finally, last but not least, I make it priority to serve God with everything within me - to never back down.
What are your priorities? It may be time to get those in check ;)
I found out yesterday that my dear friend Daq from Southeastern Bible College passed away. He was 26-years-old and suffered a heart-attack. I just talked to him on the phone about a photo shoot last week...my heart is still breaking.
This time last year, we were grieving the loss of our dear professor, Dr. Gary Greene who passed from a heart-attack in his office there at SEBC. I remember like it was yesterday...losing people dear to you, makes you realize who you truly love and what your priorities are.
I love SEBC and it'll always be a very special place to me and to suffer this loss, is very painful. Please pray for SEBC and the Weatherspoon family!
So, back to priorities...what are yours? Is it running around trying to please people or is accomplishing God's Will for you on this earth?!?!? Daq's last statement on his bio on Twitter read - "I just want to be used Lord...Let me be your vessel." How many of us really have that desire? I know one thing, that is my heart...all I want is to be His vessel and do whatever it is He's called me to!
My priority in life right now, is to make sure the people I love - KNOW IT! To graduate - FINALLY! And, to do what God has called me to and, for the time being, I am called to The Well Worship Encounter in Gadsden, Alabama and until He says otherwise (no matter if it's 6 months, 5 years or 20 years), I'll be there! No matter what! And finally, last but not least, I make it priority to serve God with everything within me - to never back down.
What are your priorities? It may be time to get those in check ;)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A lot has happened in 8 months...
...and I'm gonna do my best to include it all.
The main events of the last 8 months was that my ex from last summer came back into my life back in February "all in" and in March, we got engaged. He claimed he was ready and he "knew it was right" and in April, through a letter, he broke our engagement off. Not only did he call it off, he completely broke up with me. In the last year knowing him, the main thing I've learned is that promises are ALWAYS broken when it comes to humans...I'm so glad God never breaks His promises! It was the hardest three months of my life but I always knew that God had me in the palm of His hand and His plan would come to pass for my life.
Two weeks ago, while at the Judah conference in Orlando, Florida with my mom and three of my Spiritual parents, God finally set me free of all the pain, the disappointment, the bitterness and junk that I had been harboring! In those two weeks, the enemy has used a couple of people to try and get me back where I was but I am determined to hold out and do this...with the power of God pushing me along!
Joshua is doing what he feels God wants him to do right now and I am doing what I know God wants me to do right now. In the meantime, I'm so thankful for the friends that have been there for me! Prayers are still needed and appreciated... Only God knows what shall come to pass and I trust His sovereign hand!
The week before Joshua waltzed back into my life, I went and made things right with my Spiritual dad, Blake and the ministry he's a director of here in Gadsden, called The Well! I am so glad I did that because if it hadn't been for The Well the past few months, I don't know if I would've made it. The Lord has used Blake and the other Senior leaders (Stacey, Lane, Randy, Craig and Reed) in such a strong and mighty way. And my fellow Associate leaders will probably never know how they've impacted my life! Last year when we broke up, I eventually left The Well because I allowed outside voices to pull me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. This time, in spite of the embarrassment and pain, I have stayed because I know God has called me to that place!
I recently became the Worship leader alongside my poppa Blake and that's one thing that the Lord used while at Judah to transform me. Just remember the feelings, the way the Lord moved, it makes me want to cry. Who knows...I may when I'm finished writing this! haha. We've also started a worship dance team called Kadesh and it's my baby. Just this past Sunday night, God shifted something within me about it. I can't wait for us to start ministering...God is up to something!
When Joshua left me, I became seriously ill. I lost 15 pounds because I couldn't eat...three weeks that went on. Because of my being sick, I missed more classes at SEBC than I was allowed and so, I pulled out because I was going to flunk. It was a hard decision, but it had to be done. I have since transferred to Lee University and am going to be able to finish my Music degree online! I am very excited...though I am already missing my friends at SEBC more than I thought I would. I actually miss Birmingham! haha.
I transferred to the Family Christian Store in Gadsden (which was a total God thing) and have been working there. I wasn't able to work any camps this year but Judah 2011 was totally worth the sacrifice. I missed my girls and missed the Camp Utopia/Pathway Campground experience but...God transformed me and that obedience was so much better than the sacrifice! Poppa Blake and poppa Lane say that all the time..."Obedience is better than sacrifice" - and it's so true!
I'm going to start using this blog for photography purposes as well as continue to pop in occasionally for personal purposes. I'm beginning to take my photography very serious and hope to be a professional one day!!!
Much love and many blessings,
Amber Nicole Smith
P.S. Make sure to check The Well - Gadsden out! Our website is www.thewellgadsden.org and every Tuesday night at 6:30pm and Saturday night at 6pm you can watch LIVE here - www.ustream.tv/user/wellworship :)
The main events of the last 8 months was that my ex from last summer came back into my life back in February "all in" and in March, we got engaged. He claimed he was ready and he "knew it was right" and in April, through a letter, he broke our engagement off. Not only did he call it off, he completely broke up with me. In the last year knowing him, the main thing I've learned is that promises are ALWAYS broken when it comes to humans...I'm so glad God never breaks His promises! It was the hardest three months of my life but I always knew that God had me in the palm of His hand and His plan would come to pass for my life.
Two weeks ago, while at the Judah conference in Orlando, Florida with my mom and three of my Spiritual parents, God finally set me free of all the pain, the disappointment, the bitterness and junk that I had been harboring! In those two weeks, the enemy has used a couple of people to try and get me back where I was but I am determined to hold out and do this...with the power of God pushing me along!
Joshua is doing what he feels God wants him to do right now and I am doing what I know God wants me to do right now. In the meantime, I'm so thankful for the friends that have been there for me! Prayers are still needed and appreciated... Only God knows what shall come to pass and I trust His sovereign hand!
The week before Joshua waltzed back into my life, I went and made things right with my Spiritual dad, Blake and the ministry he's a director of here in Gadsden, called The Well! I am so glad I did that because if it hadn't been for The Well the past few months, I don't know if I would've made it. The Lord has used Blake and the other Senior leaders (Stacey, Lane, Randy, Craig and Reed) in such a strong and mighty way. And my fellow Associate leaders will probably never know how they've impacted my life! Last year when we broke up, I eventually left The Well because I allowed outside voices to pull me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. This time, in spite of the embarrassment and pain, I have stayed because I know God has called me to that place!
I recently became the Worship leader alongside my poppa Blake and that's one thing that the Lord used while at Judah to transform me. Just remember the feelings, the way the Lord moved, it makes me want to cry. Who knows...I may when I'm finished writing this! haha. We've also started a worship dance team called Kadesh and it's my baby. Just this past Sunday night, God shifted something within me about it. I can't wait for us to start ministering...God is up to something!
When Joshua left me, I became seriously ill. I lost 15 pounds because I couldn't eat...three weeks that went on. Because of my being sick, I missed more classes at SEBC than I was allowed and so, I pulled out because I was going to flunk. It was a hard decision, but it had to be done. I have since transferred to Lee University and am going to be able to finish my Music degree online! I am very excited...though I am already missing my friends at SEBC more than I thought I would. I actually miss Birmingham! haha.
I transferred to the Family Christian Store in Gadsden (which was a total God thing) and have been working there. I wasn't able to work any camps this year but Judah 2011 was totally worth the sacrifice. I missed my girls and missed the Camp Utopia/Pathway Campground experience but...God transformed me and that obedience was so much better than the sacrifice! Poppa Blake and poppa Lane say that all the time..."Obedience is better than sacrifice" - and it's so true!
I'm going to start using this blog for photography purposes as well as continue to pop in occasionally for personal purposes. I'm beginning to take my photography very serious and hope to be a professional one day!!!
Much love and many blessings,
Amber Nicole Smith
P.S. Make sure to check The Well - Gadsden out! Our website is www.thewellgadsden.org and every Tuesday night at 6:30pm and Saturday night at 6pm you can watch LIVE here - www.ustream.tv/user/wellworship :)
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