Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Contemplation.

It's a big word with a small meaning. In the south, it simply means to think back. After the death of my dear friend Daq last week, I've had plenty of time to think back; to think about my regrets and how I wish I could redo my February-April 2011 with every ounce of EVERYTHING within me! I wish I was returning to SEBC this week for my last semester (or two)...but I'm not. Why some things have happened in my life, I'll never know but...for some reason...God has been teaching me things lately that I apparently had yet to learn.

I've taken advantage of so many amazing opportunities in my life and let so many people down...and hurt people...and thinking about it today, it broke my heart. I allowed my circumstances to control my emotions which controlled my life and the last six months have just plain sucked because of it.

To all those I hurt, or let down; I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt you or to ever let you down! I know how it feels, and it's crummy! More than likely, I love you very much and definitely would never do anything to hurt anyone...but I know that sometimes things are done unintentionally and on my part...it was definitely unintentional!

Prayers are appreciated and I ask that you please pray for Daq's family and friends! Continue to pray for SEBC as well; to lose a professor one year and a student the next, it's a tough thing! My friends there mean the world to me and I just ask that you lift them up in your prayers!

Much love and many blessings,
Amber <3

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